Having recently discovered a level four registered sex offender atttending our services, I deem it urgent to give a head's up to others concerning how to handle this thoughtfully, prayerfully and legally. Here are some ideas:
1) Check the state Sex Offender web site regularly (that's how we discovered it)
2) Set the ground rules - where they may sit (in an area occupied only by older adults) and direct them concerning absolutely no contact with samll children or their families.
3) Realize seemingly benign behavior such as gifts, phone conversations or hugs is a ramping up process that leads to repeat crimes (take note if they know children's names)
4) Know that a level four has done jail time and is under rules for their parole for life
5) Contact local law enforecement to determine the proper method for dealing with the problem
6) When a known sex offender is at church, detail someone to keep an eye on him from coming in to going out (every move he makes)
7) Document efforts taken to deal with him that will prove you have legally done all you could to keep the children in your church safe
8) They do not get too old to be dangerous (ours is 79)
9) Teachers dismissing classes of small children should wait until adults are in the auditorium to do so for obvious safety reasons
10) Remind parents to keep an eye on their children (many assume their children are safe once they are on church property) and other church members to assist them in that important task
A word to the wise - if they have to be discovered from the website, they have not been honest with you and will probably lie about other things. Once contacted, the local law enforcement should be encouraged to fulfill their responsibilities. While all people deserve to hear the gospel and have their spiritual needs met, some attend church for other reasons. If the sex offender has not been straight forward in coming to the church by up front making the pastor aware of his situation, then he probably has ulterior motives rather than spiritual ones. God help us - what has our world come to?
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Bro. Archbishop, this is a needed post. We have not had anyone like this as far as I know. But if we do you can know I will come to this file in my word processor and study it again. What is this world coming to? Good Question. Jesus will soon return and Thank God. In the meantime He says 'occupy 'til I come.'
ReplyDeleteThanks for this good and needed info. I believe you spent some time on this. Thank Again. May God Bless.
More common sense rules include...
ReplyDeleteHave a set of rules in place governing who can work with children and how. i.e. -
They must have been a member of your church for at least one year.
You should run a background check of some sorts on every person involved in children's ministry.
Other rules are important, even for those who are not sexually perverted. One thing our seminary instructors really hammer down on is that no matter how innocent you may be, people can always perceive your actions as worse than they are, and a rumor is all it takes to devastate a ministry. So some rules to keep people from perceiving you the wrong way, and to protect the children are...
No closed door counseling with just one adult.
No PDAs, as even a two-armed hug can be interpreted the wrong way.
Many other rules can help a church, but these are just a couple I keep at the forefront of my mind.
Good topic to discuss. An Assembly of God youth minister, here in my town, was recently charged with molesting several teenagers of his group. He had been giving them alcohol, Benadryl, and other substances.
ReplyDeleteYou never know. The youth ministers should always have someone else there in case the temptation arises.
As far as pda goes, JamesCharles, are you saying this goes just for the youth and their pastors? I've always hugged my pastors, friends, and other members of the congregation. Some I just feel closer to. Are you saying that I should no longer do this? People are always going to have misconceptions. If they believe something is going on between two people just from an act of friendship, then that's their problem, I think.
Maybe we should we put a time limit on the hugs. A man and a woman of about the same age shouldn't hug, but it's ok for a 70year old woman to hug the 40 year old pastor. What about two men hugging? I could go on, but I'm finished with my sarcasm.
Well... I'm not discussing a "right and wrong". Certainly just a hug may not be wrong, or going to a woman's house to counsel if she is depressed isn't wrong. Yet our seminary professors are wise and explain how ANY way to avoid people talking is better. Also, keeping yourself out of a situation which could be perceived as sexual is best.
ReplyDeleteNever being alone with a woman in private does three things. #1, keeps people from thinking anything is going on. #2, keeps temptation away. #3, Helps keep a silly woman from starting rumors or falsly accusing you of doing something with her, just b/c she is upset with you.
The same thing applies to hugging, though not on near a scale as being alone with a woman. I'm not saying it is right or wrong. I'm just saying of all the possibilities, it is better if we ministers and youth workers only use one arm to hug and briefly to avoid the rumors and temptations, than it is if we don't avoid and temptations and rumors begin.
As to all your (self deemed sarcastic) questions, I don't have all the answers. I am just repeating some wise advice I took to heart which was given to me by ministers who have many years and much more experience than I do.
AFTER ALL, had Joseph not been in Potiphar's wife's house, he may never have had that false accusation. While his ministry wasn't ruined, I've heard of modern ministers who've had their ministries ruined at certain churches or local associations due to a woman's rumors. I've known one personally.
There is never a good time for a man and woman who aren't married to be alone together, but sometimes circumstances arise and it happens.
ReplyDeleteAnyone should be able to give their pastor, friend, deacon, whoever it is a hug without worrying about breaking a rule. Certainly one wouldn't misconstrue a youth pastor hugging one of his female youth members as a sign of fornication. I should be able to hug my pastor without another member thinking we are having an affair. I understand where you are coming from and the other ministers you've gotten advice from, but setting rules on how and who can hug is ludicrous. Who'd want to attend a church where you can't show your affection towards your brothers and sisters in Christ?
As far as Joseph is concerned, Potiphar's wife made advances to him several times before she made that accusation. If he'd nipped that in the bud from the beginning, then it would have never happened. He should have either told Potiphar about it the first time, or kept his distance from his wife.
I'm not saying its wrong for someone to hug their pastor, I just mean we pastors and youth pastors should watch our appearances. I don't think anyone would look at the church member wrongly for hugging, but they may look at the pastor that way. Besides this, you can show affection with one arm as much as you can with two arms. Also, every time a female youth hugs me (one armed for me) it makes me uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteAside from all this, it isn't a "rule", so perhaps I labeled it wrongly. It is just something for ministers to strongly think about.
Many Insurance agencies are now requiring a back ground check on all people that work with the youth in any why. This is a serious conversation and might we take it as so. We can make all the rule we desire, but the fact is the problems exist. Yes they need the Lord, and yes they might have turned their life around, but they must fact the consequences of their actions. They should not and should be told to stay away from all young children and ladies. They is one of their requirements anyway; depending on the crime. I know I have had to deal with this issue. I talk to the guy personally and set the facts straight from the start. He is not longer in our fold. I do not know way he left, but he let me know I was unfair. So what!! We must do all we can to protect the innocent from the guilty!!
ReplyDeleteArch Bishop, thanks for this much needed post. Good information. I wonder, if you can discuss it, did you all suspect something first or just happen to run across the person on the sex offender web site?
ReplyDeleteJames Charles, what are "PDAs"? I gather it must have something to do with hugging, but don't know what it stands for.
As to wise advice from older ministers/seminary instructors, it probably is generally wise but sometimes just be their personal vagaries. In ministerial practicalities I was taught what seemed to be some peculiar ideas about trying to help a woman who has car trouble on the side of the road. I still think they were peculiar and not particularly helpful. Sometimes one might need to weigh issues of wagging tongues versus the personal safety of someone we left on the side of the road while going to call for help. Of course, we have cell phones now and didn't back then.
Now that brings me back to the original topic and number 7 about documenting efforts taken to prove the church has legally done all she could. I agree with that, but also have read of some cases where the churches/pastors were evidently more concerning about protecting the church than protecting the children. I know of no reason both couldn't reasonably be done, but if in weighing the situation and both can't be done, opt for the children and not the legals issues for the church.
PDA - public display of affection. A term used in schools to keep children from going too far. Some teachers may allow hugging, others may allow holding hands. Then other teachers consider "No PDA" to mean no touching. It is left up to the faculty member to decide. As to the #7 issue, think you are right. They should go hand in hand, protecting children=protecting the church and vise-versa. I think both are equally important, however. You certainly NEVER want any child to be harmed, but you also don't want to see a church's ministry ruined in that city so that all future effectiveness of witnessing is gone, and people go to hell. Do your best to protect your children, and then you should be protecting your church.
ReplyDeleteJames, I agree with you that doing the best to protect the children, and should also protect the church. I think you are advocating a proactive approach (and I agree). Most of what I've seen in the negative has been churches trying to cover themselves after the fact -- after something has happened to a child. In some of these cases in seems quite evident they were willing to try to try to cover up their own mistake (and sometimes cover for the perpetrator) at the expense of the child.
ReplyDeleteI don't suppose I can understand what would ever drive a person to that, except to say they NEED the Lord as much as all others.
ReplyDeleteBro. archbishop,
ReplyDeleteI think your last comment really sums up the entire issue. I too, have dealt with this problem in one of the churches that I have pastored. Upon my being made aware of the situation, I quickly had a joint meeting with the deacons and the "person of interest". The expectations were detailed. But ultimately the Lord took care of everything as He always does.
Bro. James,
I have a way to keep from raising eyebrows about my relationship with the women of the church I pastor. I just hug them all.
Bro. Vaughn, A member just discovered his picture when at work while checking out the site. Our children were our first concern.
ReplyDelete