An ordained preacher has the right to perform the marriage ceremony in a state if he is registered in one county (or parish). As a young preacher, I was advised by an older pastor to decide on a policy concerning which ceremonies I would agree to perform. Every preacher should give this matter some consideration.
The Bible teaches marriage is a covenant relationship between one man and one woman until death (1 Cor. 7:10, 11, 12, 13, 27, 39). Preachers have frequent opportunities to perform a ceremony - but do not have to comply with every request to do so. In order to follow the teachings of the Bible concerning marriage, I determined at the beginning of my ministry to perform some marriage ceremonies and to refuse others. The Bible teaches a believer not to marry an unbeliever. 2 Cor. 6:14. The pre-wedding counseling is a wonderful opportunity to question the prospective couple, to hear their testimonies and to witness to them if one or both is not saved. I do not perform a ceremony for a believer and an unbeliever.
The Bible is so clear concerning divorce and remarriage that I determined I would not perform a ceremony if either one has been divorced for any reason. Matt 5:31, 32; Matt 19:3, 8, 9; Luke 16:18; Rom. 7:3. Taking God's Word as my guide for my ministry, I could not do otherwise. This policy has to be consistent with friends, family, church members and others alike. Preachers who follow the Bible concerning which marriage ceremonies they will or will not perform take a stand for God and His Word concerning the institution of marriage.
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I foresee many comments on this post. I don't know if I'd ever perform the ceremony or not. I lean towards no, as I believe the Bible teaches a man should remain married, and if divorced, remain separate hoping to reconcile.
ReplyDeleteThen again, 1 Corinthians 7 suggests its better to never marry. Is this chapter best condition, then a better condition, then a better condition than the worst condition? Or does this give a COMMAND, and then another, then another? If the first is a command, a man should not marry. Ahh, this is neither here nor there. I still lean towards my first answer.
ReplyDeleteWell, I spoke out of turn. I'll post the verse I missed, then the verse you seemed to have left out.
ReplyDelete1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
AND
1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
v. 15 Some mistake this verse for a license to get a divorce - I see it as saying if your mate will not stay with you, you can't force them to live with you - not under bondage to stay together if the other seeks a divorce, but still no approval for divcrce and remarriage.
ReplyDeleteBut if you remarry, you sin not. if you commit adultery, you sin. SO if you remarry, you do not commit adultery.
ReplyDelete1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
The past ten years, I have required the "covenant marriage" license. It has been an option since 1997 in Louisiana and 2001 in Arkansas.
ReplyDeleteBoth marriage licences are designed to make the parties take their vows more seriously.
Requirement of minimum of 2hrs counseling (notorized form) and it is very difficult to get a divorce out of this marriage license except for the cause of:
1. Proven Adultry
2. A felony offense
3. Proven Abuse
Oh, I forgot to add...
ReplyDeleteto my knowledge I have never married a saved person to a lost person. I have had the honor of leading 2 marriage candidates to the Lord the past 24 years during counseling and at last check in my marriage log, the number of ceremonies was up to 111 marriages.
This does not mean that some of these young people didn't lie and act like idiots after their marriage.
Sometimes I wish I could call fire down from the heavens on top of some of these young idiot's heads!
I have to agree on not performing the ceremony for a believer who is marrying a non-believer.
ReplyDeleteIn the two instances that I have been asked to perform a marriage ceremony, I have asked that the prospective groom and bride go through the book, "Before You Say I Do" by H. Norman Wright. If a couple is not willing to go through that book, they are not ready for marriage, in my opinion.
So far, I have never performed a marriage ceremony.
As for the H. Norman Wright book, my wife and I went through that book before we married, without the help of our pastor (he was rather disinterested in our relationship). It's been 10 years, and we've only grown stronger in our marriage sense. Its a good resource for those who would like help structuring their premarital counseling. Not that you are incapable of doing that, but in an age where demands for our time are ever-growing, I like to use whatever GOOD resources I can get.
I Cor. 7:15 must come into rightful consideration if one is trying to follow the scriptures and not be "one up" on them. Since divorced couples should remain single in search of reconciliation, if either marries, the possibility if forever gone. It is an abomination to God for one to be divorced, marry another an then divorce again and remarry the origianl partner. so when one of a divorced couple remarries, the other is scripturally free to marry another and get on about living.
ReplyDeleteIt is not good for a minister to force a line where God did not put one. Judgment will be called on it.
I HAD HEARD IT SAID THAT OUR BLOGS WERE GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION BUT I REALLY DOUBTED IT. THANKS BRO. W.A. DILLARD FOR YOUR INPUT.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad our blogs get attention. I've know for a fact a lot of church members and non church members follow them. Many of them have told me the blogs have encouraged them to study themselves since we all bring forth good points. I'm glad the Lord is not only able, but willing to use the rantings of a dumb dumb preacher like me. :-p
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to share with ya'll that when Joe and I were married, Sept. 30, 1989 that Joe was not saved and his religion was catholic. He was not a practicing catholic, but he was still catholic. Bro. Charlie Alexander performed the ceremony.
ReplyDeleteJoe did go to church with me at Whispering Pines when he was off work. The years passed and Joe was finally saved and became a member of Whispering Pines.
Over the past years Joe has become a very faithful servant. He leads the singing at Lakeview, gives the devotion, and teaches class. He will also sing specials sometimes. He studies his bible every night, for at least an hour. God is awesome. Joe is a completely different man now. Did I mention he is from New Jersey? haha He loves our churches, he loves our work, and he is determined to stay faithful and true to God.
btw, I've also enjoyed ready all of your posts. I've learned very much. I've also posted a blog on my page about the "healing of the nations." I'd love to hear from some of you on the post.
Thanks,
Your sister in Christ
I think you forgot an important part, Sister Julie. He cooks the best food ever for preachers at the Bogg at night.
ReplyDeleteWith God's help to guide us by His book of truth, preachers should prayerfully conider biblical guidelines before agreeing to do a wedding.
ReplyDelete